What’s in store:

+ WHAT IT MEANS TO ELOPE
+ COMMON MYTHS ABOUT ELOPEMENTS
+ TOP 10 REASONS COUPLES ELOPE
+ QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT ELOPING

WHAT IS AN ELOPEMENT, ANYWAY?

When you think of the word ‘elopement’, what comes to mind? Is it some kind of rushed, secretive marriage—running away to the courthouse to escape family pressures? A frantic last-minute arrangement after one too many drinks in Las Vegas? Or a cheapskate solution for people who don't want to plan and pay for a huge wedding, or who just don't care about their wedding as much?

Well, I've got news for you: that definition is straight-up obsolete.

COMMON MYTHS & MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ELOPING

MYTH 1 : To elope is to run away in secret, to hide a shameful marriage, or to get married in a rush.

Maybe half a century ago this was what came to mind from the word ‘elope’, but nowadays, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Many couples are spending months or even years planning their perfect, intimate, dream adventure elopement, and often couples announce that they’re eloping before it happens. Even a spontaneous elopement planned within the course of a few weeks is planned with intentionality and care!

MYTH 2 : Eloping is selfish, and excludes all the important people in your life.

It’s a common misconception that in order to elope, it has to be just you two and your officiant. This is so not true! You can invite people to an elopement! You might choose to bring your parents, siblings, best friends. You might end up with 10-25 guests, or maybe you make the decision to elope in an intimate setting with just you two and the officiant.

(There's also no rule that says you have to exclude the important people in your life at all—a lot of couples who elope plan a huge party after they’ve eloped, to celebrate with all the people they love!)

The important people in your life will understand your decision, and even if they’re sad that they missed out on your vows, they’ll get over it. I’m sure they’d love to party with you and celebrate your marriage—if not, I’m not sure inviting them to your wedding would be right in the first place.

MYTH 3 : An elopement is just a cop-out for not wanting to plan and pay for a big wedding.

If you told any of my couples that their wedding day was a cop-out, well, let's just say it wouldn't go over well. Marriage is not a decision anyone makes lightly, and neither is eloping. Couples who elope nowadays are doing so in a very intentional way.

Not wanting to plan a big wedding might have something to do with it, but why should a couple be forced to have (and pay for) a wedding they don't want, and that they don't love?

MYTH 4 : Couples who elope end up regretting it.

Heck no! Every couple I’ve ever talked to who eloped said they were so grateful for their decision to do so, and that their elopement day was one of the best days of their lives.

If anything… I’ve met way more couples who have had large weddings (because they felt like they had to), who regret their big wedding and WISH they would have just eloped.

(Also, I know those people exist… because I’m one of them.)

okay, so…

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ELOPE?

I like to define an elopement as:

An intimate, small, meaningful wedding experience that’s intentionally focused solely around you two and your love.

If you're considering or planning a big wedding, it might feel like things are getting out of your hands—and the decision to elope is an intentional one made to keep it all close to your heart.

Eloping is about saying NO to the headache-inducing expectations and obligations of traditional large weddings—things like seating charts, guest counts, family drama, money, and so on, which can all quickly add unnecessary stress and detract from the importance of your wedding day, and especially the sacred intimacy of you two exchanging your vows.

It’s about creating a wedding day for yourselves that you can truly enjoy, not one that feels like a production or a performance full of traditions and expectations that just aren’t you. It’s about focusing on what matters most to you, and about you two committing your lives to one another in a way that feels right.

And my favorite thing about elopements?

There are no rules!

When it comes to an elopement, there is no recipe to follow, no formula you must adhere to.

Maybe your elopement day looks like you two getting up before dawn to hike into the backcountry for to exchange your vows on top of some secluded mountain. Or maybe it’s you two enjoying a barefoot ceremony on the beach and an intimate candlelit picnic under the stars. Or renting a cabin for a weekend-long adventure with all your best friends. Or, maybe you throw tradition totally out the window for the weird, unconventional day of your dreams.

Whatever your elopement is, it’s about creating an experience for yourselves that reflects who you are and what you care about most.

That’s what an elopement is.

It’s about you.

TOP REASONS COUPLES CHOOSE TO ELOPE

REASON 1 : IT’S MORE INTIMATE AND AUTHENTIC

If you’re anything like me (i.e., an introvert), the thought of saying your highly personal vows in front of a bunch of people terrifies you. Getting married is an intensely intimate act.

When you invite people into the fold to stand by and witness that union, you may end up holding back, focusing more on what others are thinking or feeling in that moment, rather than paying attention to feeling it all yourself. (Social anxiety, anyone?) As a result, you might end up not feeling your wedding day quite as deeply or openly as you could have.

On the other hand, with an elopement, no one’s watching. No one’s there to judge you. You’re absolutely free to be your authentic selves. You can let your guard down, and focus on enjoying every single moment without hesitation or fear. Even if you invite a small handful of people to your elopement ceremony, the ones you invite are going to be people you trust wholeheartedly.

REASON 2 : IT’S LESS EXPENSIVE

Although most couples don’t elope nowadays for the sole purpose of lowering their budget, it is a pretty awesome byproduct of having a smaller, more intimate wedding.

Get this: the average traditional wedding (according to Wedding Wire's 2019 Report) includes 126 guests and costs a whopping $38,700—or even higher in areas like New York City, where the average is closer to $50,000. Altogether, the wedding industry in the US alone is a $55 BILLION dollar industry (source).

The average elopement? Well, that’s a bit of a tough one to answer—if only for the fact that the cost of an elopement is so flexible. Most couples spend somewhere between $5-15k on their adventure elopement, though it’s definitely feasible to get eloped for even less.

Think of what you’re cutting out when you elope: first off, you aren’t taking 150+ people out for dinner and bottomless drinks. You very likely won’t pay for a huge venue, a DJ, musicians, catering, chair rentals… really, all you need to elope is a location, an officiant, and a photographer.

When it comes to location, eloping is cheap as heck. Some couples like to travel somewhere new and make a whole trip out of it (hello, epic destination honeymoon!), while others might opt for a beautiful location that’s inexpensive, close to home, and has a lot of meaning to them.

You can have an elopement in an epic, jaw-dropping location like Mount Rainier or Olympic NP for a mere 1.5% of what it costs to rent your average-priced wedding venue.

(That’s the cost of a NPS permit, usually $150, versus the average cost of a wedding venue, which is a whopping $10,000. Think of how much travel you can do for that much!)

Cutting out all those big-wedding expenses can also free up your budget to hire the elopement photographer of your dreams—couples are often able to spend 50-90% of their entire wedding budget on a fantastic photographer who can help them plan and design their dream elopement, and give them photos they can then use to announce their marriage and share their memories with their loved ones.

So if you’re under some financial strain trying to plan your wedding, just know it isn’t the only way. Your money might be better off spent on a down payment for a house, paying off some debts, or—and we love this option—going on a totally kickass honeymoon!

REASON 3 : IT’S (WAYYY) LESS STRESSFUL

Enough said, really. Wedding planning is stressful. (Take it from someone who planned one.) Planning a party for a hundred-plus people and trying to make sure each one of them has a great time is stressful. There’s a laundry list of planning boxes to check off, and people to please: because no doubt you’re probably dealing with family tensions, clashing personalities, and trying to decide who exactly is going to get an invitation and who isn’t—all without trying to offend anyone.

But with an elopement, there’s no seating arrangements, no RSVPs to hunt down, no drama! Even if you do have guests at your elopement, it’s going to be much less of a headache when you only have a handful of folks versus having upwards of two hundred.

Elopement days end up feeling so much more relaxed and less rushed—there’s no strict timeline, which means you have the freedom to quite literally pause and smell the flowers. Whereas a hectic wedding day might slip away, an elopement lets you slow down, be truly present, and enjoy every single moment.

REASON 4 : THERE’S LESS DRAMA

Sometimes, couples choose to elope because they don’t want all the family drama. Family tensions, childhood traumas, touchy relationships, unresolved arguments, clashing personalities, and other people’s unwanted opinions on how you should do your wedding should never get in the way of your real purpose for getting married.

Funny enough, some couples choose to invite no one so as to avoid being exclusionary—everyone is equally not invited.

Whatever your family situation is, everyone at your wedding should be there for you—you are not there for them. No one has a right to be at your wedding, and an invitation should be seen as a privilege and an honor. You get to decide who comes, whether that’s nobody at all, or a few select people who you deem worthy to stand alongside you as you say your vows.

REASON 5 : IT’S BETTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT

Did you know? The average wedding creates 400 pounds of garbage, and 63 tons of carbon dioxide.

To put that in other terms, a single wedding produces the equivalent emissions that 4-5 people would produce over the course of an entire year. And with 2.3 million weddings happening every year in the USA alone, that's 144.9 billion extra tons of C02 and 1 billion pounds of waste every year, with no end in sight (source).

On the other hand… a small, outdoor elopement on public lands? Doesn’t need to produce an ounce of garbage! And if you do it right and pay attention to Leave No Trace (LNT) guidelines, your elopement can have zero impact or detriment on the environment.

If you ask me, if we want to keep having weddings and keep this planet alive, we NEED more people to elope. And we need more people to elope in a sustainable, responsible way.

Have a wedding you can feel GOOD about!

P.S. As a proud environmentalist and LNT-aware photographer, this is a topic I am highly passionate about. I’ve written a whole other blog post about how to have a sustainable, Leave No Trace elopement which I encourage you to read if you’re thinking about eloping!

REASON 6 : IT’S MORE FREEING

With an elopement, the possibilities are endless! You aren’t tied down to any certain traditions, or any location. You two can explore somewhere new and make an adventure out of it, or try a new activity that’s on your bucket list. You can turn your elopement trip into a destination honeymoon, if you want. There are so many more possibilities than with a traditional wedding!

REASON 7 : IT’S DIFFERENT

Maybe you’re like me, and you love to stray from the trodden path. Maybe you quite simply just want something different! The wonderful thing about elopements is that each one is unique, and no two are ever alike, simply because you two get to bring your individualities to the day. It’s a day you can truly call your own.

REASON 8 : IT’S PEACEFUL

A lot of couples elope because they want to go somewhere beautiful and peaceful, and there’s always plenty of time to enjoy the view when you’re eloping. You can get up early for a hike to watch the sunrise and exchange your vows while the world turns, run around barefoot and dig your feet into the earth, breathe in some fresh air, pause for a mountaintop picnic and take in panoramic views that go on for miles, enjoy some bubbly as the sun sets, and then watch as the stars come out. The whole while, you’re surrounded by nature and taking in the view. (And, the whole day, you probably haven’t even *thought* about pulling out your phone.)

Eloping can be serene, meditative, and restorative—couples often tell me it ends up being a highly transformative, spiritual experience.

REASON 9 : IT’S FUN AS HECK

Seriously. The amount of smiles and joy I get to witness and capture on elopement days always sets my heart alight. Couples can let their guard down and be their goofy, fun-loving, weird selves, and they get to have an adventure of a lifetime. It’s a day for you two to do, quite simply, whatever the heck you want.

And you deserve to have fun on your wedding day!

REASON 10 : THE PHOTOS ARE BOMB.

Some couples dream of eloping because they want those jaw-dropping, epic photos. And hey, I’m right there with you, as someone who totally loves the great outdoors and spending time in nature!

This isn’t superficial, though. Photographs last an eternity, and their worth only increases as the years go by. On elopement days, there’s far fewer distractions as opposed to a large wedding, so the photographer you hire will be able to capture every little moment for you. And, the photos genuinely reflect who you are when you’re simply at peace with the love of your life, living in the present, enjoying the view and soaking in the beautiful surroundings you’re in. They can capture what it felt like so you can relive that day over and over for the rest of your lives.

And those epic landscape shots certainly aren’t hurting ;)

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

WHEN CONSIDERING AN ELOPEMENT VS. A BIG WEDDING

1. If you had one day to live out the adventure of your dreams, what would that day look like?

Seriously. Don’t think of it like an elopement planning exercise—turn off that side of your brain and just daydream about what an epic day of adventure might look like for you.

What kind of activities would you do? What season is it? Where are you, or what kind of environment surrounds you? Maybe it’s summer, and you’re going to hike to the top of your favorite mountain, then share a dance under the stars. Maybe it’s winter, and you sleep in, cook breakfast together, slap on your skis and hit the slopes for a few hours, then come back to the cabin for a warm, cozy, intimate dinner by the fire prepared by a private chef, plus spiked hot chocolate to follow. Maybe it’s fall, and you don’t care much for grueling hikes but you love off-roading, so you rent a Jeep and find some super-remote spot for a picnic and a ceremony before driving back to meet up with your friends back at the cabin for tacos and beer and video games.

Incorporate your favorite things. Make it a day entirely devoted to you two and doing what you love.

2. Who do you want to be present at your ceremony, and will the people you invite hold you accountable in your commitment and your vows?

In my opinion, there should be a damn good reason to invite a person to something as important and precious as your wedding, and that you should consider that list with care and intention. I like to think of your wedding guests as people who will witness your vows and be there for you during your marriage and hold you accountable in your commitment. So, maybe you have damn good reasons to invite 150 people to a large wedding venue, and that’s great! Maybe you decide that hiking 12+ miles to the top of your favorite mountain is very important to you, and decide not to bring anyone along, and maybe you decide you’ll throw a big reception later on to celebrate with your loved ones. Maybe you can’t envision getting married without your mom and your best friend by your side since they’re such a huge part of your life. Maybe you're just very private people, and you don’t want to invite anyone at all, because it’s you two and you two alone who are going to hold each other accountable in the vows you make to one another.

Eloping isn’t about the numbers. It’s about the intention. We've photographed elopements with up to 20 guests, and these were no less elopements than those with no guests at all.

3. Could you spend your money on other, better, more important things?

Like I mentioned in the section above, when you cut out all the expenses related to large weddings, you may then be able to spend your money otherwise—perhaps on a wild honeymoon trip with all the stops pulled out, or maybe you can put that money toward a down payment on a house or start paying off debts. Have the epic wedding of your dreams AND avoid going into extra debt because of it. What’s more to say on that?

4. What's most important to you when it comes to our wedding day?

Is it the invitation font, or the color of the table runners? Is it the music at your reception, or the flavor of your wedding cake? Of course, some of those little things may be important to you, and you might find some joy in planning all the details. But in my opinion, nothing should be higher on your priorities than your love, and your experience of committing yourselves to one another—and the great time you have while doing so.

Regardless of whether you end up planning a traditional wedding or ditching all that for an adventure elopement, every couple should sit down and think over their priorities. Maybe you discover that you care more about your honeymoon than the number of guests you invite, or maybe you decide that a cake cutting is important to you after all. Maybe you decide you simply can’t get married without your mom by your side, or that you really do want to invite all your rowdy college friends for an epic party.

Whatever you come up with, the day you get married is important. You deserve a wedding day that truly reflects who you are and what you hold dear.

So that brings me to my final and most important question for you:

5. What would bring you the most joy?

Here we go, Kondo style: What would spark the most joy for you? A big, traditional wedding, or an adventurous, intimate elopement?

This is the most important question you can ask yourself if you’re trying to decide which route is best for you. Forget the money, forget the drama, forget all those external factors like what your parents might want or what is expected of you.

What do you want? What would ultimately make you happier?

If the thought of spending hours on a complicated seating chart, dealing with family drama, spending money out the wazoo on X, Y, and Z, and having to plan a huge wedding and follow all the traditions—if the thought of it all stresses you out, or if you feel like you have to plan a wedding that doesn't reflect who you truly are... know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you're considering an elopement, if any or all of the aforementioned reasons resonate with you, if there's something in your heart that tugs at the mere thought of saying your vows whilst surrounded on all sides by some sublime wilderness, just the two of you… I urge you to listen to that call.

Listen to your heart.

HEY THERE, WE’RE

WILDERPINES ELOPEMENTS

Creating wildly intentional & intimate adventure elopements for rad couples in the PNW

We’re here to inspire you and help you create a unique, intentional, unforgettable wedding experience that reflects who you are, then to capture it all so you can relive those moments forever.

If you’re looking for more information on how to elope in the Pacific Northwest or beyond, get in touch and let’s start planning your dream elopement!

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