A THOUGHT PIECE

FROM AN ELOPEMENT PHOTOGRAPHER WHO HAD A BIG WEDDING

(…AND REGRETS IT)

I was married before. I had a big wedding. That's right, me, the diehard elopement photographer—this was years ago, before I knew better, before I really knew what an elopement was, or what it could be. And honestly, the experience of planning a big wedding was one of the major factors that pushed me into the world of elopements. Aside from the stress of planning a 130+ guest wedding, even more significant was the fact that it didn't feel right. It just wasn't me. Elements of my big wedding defied tradition and expectation, and my ceremony was outdoors in the middle of the woods, which made me happy, but overall the experience was… average. Cookie cutter. I don't know. It wasn't special, or it wasn't as special as I thought it would be. It was a party, and I’m not much of a party person.

Now, having photographed a plethora of both large, traditional weddings and intimate, adventurous elopements, and comparing the two (whether consciously or unconsciously) and the sort of "net takeaways” of each, I can say earnestly that I come away from every single adventure elopement a changed man. A better man. Every single one of them ends up being one of the most amazing experiences of my life. And that's coming from me, the humble photographer whose job is it to merely (merely!) show up and capture these days. I can’t help but watch the joy and love overflow from my couples, and I don’t even have to imagine the depth of the joy they are feeling in those moments: I can see it in their faces, in their laughs, and in the photographs I take. It's a kind of endlessly fulfilling joy-by-proxy that's simply impossible to not feel.

The day before an elopement could be one of my low-energy days, the kind of listless day where I can barely bring myself out of bed, but the day of? I’ll don my hiking boots and find myself with the energy to climb a mountain like I’ve downed an entire pot of coffee. And the day after? The days to follow? It’s positively revitalizing, if not intoxicating: the sensation of remembering what good there is still in this world, having bathed myself in both the beauty of the natural world, and the joyous beauty of humankind. Of love. That’s what I mean when I say I come away a better man.

(I don’t even care if that sounds a bit far out. I’m 1000% serious.)

I get to walk alongside people on the best days of their lives, their ‘one perfect day’, and I get to do this for a living.

If you’re planning on getting married and wondering whether or not you’ll regret eloping, whether you'd be better off having a big wedding, I want to assure you, and maybe even gently warn you: you may very well end up feeling the exact opposite. You might, in fact, regret a large wedding. (Like I do.)

I wish so often I had eloped. I wish I could have seen back then that it was an option. I wish I had given myself the private space during my ceremony to share the handwritten vows I wanted to say, rather than the brief repeat-after-me vows I shared, given my anxiety around public speaking. I wish I could have had the alone time on my wedding day that I craved, instead of having to entertain over a hundred guests. I wish I could have gotten married in a space that felt right for me, in a way that felt right for me.⁠

If you're thinking about eloping, if there's something in your heart that tugs at the mere thought of saying your vows whilst surrounded on all sides by some sublime wilderness, just the two of you… please, please, please, listen to that call.

HEY THERE, WE’RE

WILDERPINES ELOPEMENTS

Creating wildly intentional & intimate adventure elopements for rad couples in the PNW

We’re here to inspire you and help you create a unique, intentional, unforgettable wedding experience that reflects who you are, then to capture it all so you can relive those moments forever.

If you’re looking for more information on how to elope in the Pacific Northwest or beyond, get in touch and let’s start planning your dream elopement!

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